


Woman Up

by lovelyginger



Category: Sex Pistols | Love Pistols
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderbending, Transformation, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-09 21:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4364369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyginger/pseuds/lovelyginger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I have boobs' was the first thought Shiro had as he stared down at his womanly form. His hands shook as he gave them a tentative squeeze. </p><p>If you thought that hiding their secret rendezvous and his wolf soul form was bad wait until the second "magic spell" comes off. What will happen when Shiro turns eighteen and the magical transformation he has been expecting since he was five turns out to be a gender swap?</p><p>Will Yonekuni be ok with the changes in Shiro? More importantly will Shiro be able to live with them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the Death of Shiro Fujiwara

The morning of Shiro's 18th birthday was a morning of dread and pain. Luckily his birthday just happened to be on the weekend this year so he wouldn't have to go to school feeling as he currently did. Every muscle in his body hurt, his joints felt like rusty hinges, his bones even ached and he sort of knew why. His body was already changing, his last 'magic spell' from his parents was starting to come undone. He ignored the pain though and got up as he always did and went down stairs to where he knew his kind foster parents were waiting for him. 

Still in his pyjamas the wolf ate eggs and bacon and drank tea with Mr and Mrs Fujiwara and forced the sadness that was bubbling up inside him back. This was his last day with the people who raised him. His last day in this house, his last time having breakfast with a simple family. The worst part was, they won't know him anymore, they never really knew him to begin with. He choked back tears and put on his stoic, serious face as he alway did when he was dealing with emotions he could barely handle. He stared into his foster parents faces and gave a weak smile, these perfect strangers had taken him in and raised him for 13 years without question, and by the end of the day they will be just another older childless couple. All traces of Shiro would be erased from their lives. 'This family will have never existed', he thought to himself as an ice cold stone of guilt settled into his chest. 

Then again, by this time tomorrow Shirou Fujiwara will be no more and will never have been. It was a strange thought, that in as little as 12 hours everything that Shiro was would be gone, he would be dead essentially. Worse he will never have really existed. No wait, he would still be remembered by friends and other madararui who knew him, so he wouldn't be completely gone. 

Shiro spent most of the relaxing birthday on auto pilot, trying to ignore the dread and pain sinking into his bones. He was doing well until he had an unexpected visitor. To his surprise, Yonekuni had shown up to celebrate the his birthday. The croc had made plans to wine and dine his lover, however Shiro declined. He explained that he didn't feel well and wanted to stay home, he half expected Yonekuni to insist on going or be angry at being turned down by a guy, but instead the croc broke from his awkward nonchalant and secretly possessive affections for the wolf and showed open concern for his lover. He went as far as touching foreheads together to check Shiro's temperature and when he found it to be to high for his liking he lead the brunette up the stairs, hand in hand with an arm around the wolf just in case he lost balance. The blond tucked his lover into bed and told him to rest and left just as suddenly as he had arrived. 

Shiro lay in bed only as long as the croc was there, instantly springing up from under the covers as soon as he heard the front door close, indicating the blonds departure. Today was his last day here, he would not spend it sulking in his bedroom, no matter how his very soul ached with stiff pain and sorrow. He was up and flitting about the house for the rest of the day, restlessly helping out with menial tasks and basking in the little moments he shared with his foster parents.

He tried to ignore the panic that rose in the back of his head about the upcoming transformation, and how he will deal with the reactions from his friends. Oh god, how was he supposed to tell Yonekuni? He panicked in the bathroom for nearly half an hour before deciding everything should be taken in stride and worrying would not help.

When he emerged there was an eerie silence in the house and he wondered if they had begun their work and half expected to see a man in black stealing away his pictures from the photo albums on the shelf around the corner, working on removing any trace of him ever living here. Instead when he rounded the corner he came face to face with his foster parents brandishing a small strawberry cake with a candle in it. 

After cake they ate supper and then retired to the living room where they talked and played card games. When Shiro looked up at the window next he was surprised to see that the sky had gone dark, settling into a deep eggplant color. He sat on the couch next to his foster father and stared out the window for a minute before there was a knock on the door. The wolf closed his eyes, as if not seeing what was about to happen would stop it from happening. He heard his foster mother answering the door, and his foster father ask him what was wrong, but it all sounded so far away. 

Distance, that's what it was, he felt the gap between him and his make shift family grow tenfold and he couldn't make eye contact as he betrayed them and walked through the living room to the doorway where the men were waiting for him. He stared at the frozen form of his mother, haven been controlled by the power of the heavy seed that glared into her eyes at the moment. He knew that the man was already at work erasing all traces of him from her mind and he broke his gaze away from her as another man passed by into the house to work on his father. More men poured into the house as Shiro was escorted out to a car waiting for him. He glanced one last time at the home he was raised in before the door was shut and the driver took him off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He has no idea where he is heading next, just knows that he will be safe and given the privacy he needs for the oncoming transformation. Which is defiantly underway now as the wolf's body crampes up despite it being over an hour earlier than expected. The man driving is telling him something, but he is in too much pain to notice what it is. There are tears pricking his eyes as the pain rages on, burning through his body and tearing the breath out of his lungs. He curls up on the back seat trying desperately no to howl out in pain. 

Suddenly he feels strong arms grasp his arms as he is ungracefully pulled from the car. Another man in a black suit supports him as he is walked into the building. There is a nurse and doctor waiting with a wheelchair just inside the door and the whimpering wolf is plopped into it and taken to his new, high security, loft where he will suffer his transformation in private.

The night is filled with nothing but pain, pain and tears. Despite there best attempts the nurse and doctor can't keep the pain of his transition completely suppressed and Shiro is left in an on again, off again pain that no one should ever have to suffer. Morphine became his best friend and in spite it he still feels a burning in his veins as his body changes. At midnight he finally gives into the pain and howls like the wolf he is, a painful desperate sound that tares out of him like a tornado of emotion. It lashes around the loft proclaiming the climax of his misery. 

Then the world goes black and the doctor springs into action calling out orders to the nurses, who hook even more tubes into the unconscious wolf. The monitors that had been hooked up earlier all start to beep in alarm, however amongst them the most alarming sound was the long shrill whail of the heart monitor announcing a flat line.

Shiro's heart stopped beating, the wolf died alone in the new flat. It took a full 3 minutes and a few hundred volts of electricity for the doctor to get his heart beating again. When the heart beat started up again it was no longer Shiro's it was Shirou's heart inside the newly transformed body. 

With his vitals back up the doctor left his patient to rest peacefully in the nursing bed they had set up in the living room of the loft. There was a brief knock at the door, but it was more of a signal than a pause for permission to enter. The loft was soon filled with the men in black who had brought over Shiros belongings from the house. They placed them around the loft careful not to wake their slumbering client and were gone just as quickly as they had come.

The man in the suit approached the hospital bed and stared at the client he had been assigned to assist through transition. He couldn't believe this was the same person he'd helped through the doors earlier. He stared for a moment more, drawn in by Shirou before snapping his attention away and placing the letter, that his client's parents had written before their passing, on the table next to the bed along with the small box. Everything had been handled as instructed by the wolf's now deceased parents and it had all gone exactly as planned. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Shirou woke up the first thing that he noticed was the letter sitting on the table next to him, he opened the envelope which was old and faded to the point it was unnaturally soft for paper. There was no indication of who it was from, but as soon as he cracked the fragile seal a wafting of sunshine on magnolias and damp birch bark made its way out of the envelope and he instinctually knew it was from his parents. He couldn't help the single tear that slid down his cheek as he pulled out the contents. There were two pieces of paper, and a few pictures that all smelt of his parents. 

The first letter was from his mother and held her sent as well as her dainty handwriting with large loops and soft curves, much like his own writing. The letter read: 

Happy Birthday my sweet little baby,  
I hope you know that your mother loves you so very much. I wish I could be there with you now, but life isn't fair and that's ok, because it makes us stronger and gives us the opportunity to change. I can't believe you are already eighteen, yesterday you were eating a fistful of dirt in the sandbox and crying because you couldn't find Chapin-chan, that is your stuffed dog by the way I figure you probably don't remember him now.  
I know that I've missed most of your life, but I'm so happy that you were born and that I've gotten to raise you for as long as I have. It was not an easy decision to send you to be raised by someone else, it tore my heart in two knowing that some other couple was going to watch you grow up and become you in our stead. However, you deserve to be happy and free, to be a kid and yourself. It would have been wrong of us to force you to grow up here with us, no child should have to watch their parents die.  
Now I know you knew about the two "magic spells" we put on you and that they should be gone completely on your eighteenth birthday, but let me explain why we did it.  
My sweet baby, as you'll soon find out, or already have, you were born as an adorable little wolf pup. A female wolf pup. I'm so sorry, my kind little girl but you are the last female wolf pup in the continent, one of very few left in the world and even as a baby your natural soul appearance intrigued many. Not even a week after you were born families from all over the world were sending proposals and demanding you to be mated or bred at your fist heat. When you were ten months old you were abducted from your room by an associate of a wolf pack up in the american tundra. It took us five days to get you back and it was terrifying. I thought that I knew what fear was, but losing you was worse than any pain or fear I'd ever experienced before.  
When you were born we already knew that our time with you would be short and the thought of you being alone at such a young age with all of these manipulative wealthy families eyeing you was terrifying. I couldn't let you fall into there hands, we couldn't let them get you, you deserve to be yourself and find your own love. You deserve to be free.  
Don't get me wrong, your father and I brainstormed for months about how to keep you safe, we didn't jump to the idea of changing everything about you to keep you safe. We argued over boarding schools, thought about secure buildings and bodyguards, but at the end of the day we didn't want to lock you away in a tower or isolate you from the wonderful world around you. Finally on your first birthday we decided to set up the life you have lived. On your birthday your father used a rare and complicated heavy seed power to suppress your soul form and manipulate your body, or something I'm not sure. Put simply he changed your gender with a manipulation that would last until your eighteenth birthday so that you could live freely until you were old enough to make your own decisions.  
That day we faked your death and no one was the wiser or really even cared that we had a son the same age, non had any need to care for a male wolf pup. Those who did make pairing requests were not so desperate for you that they would come and take you by force. You were safe and we could raise you for as long as possible until we were ready or had to send you to the foster home we had chosen for you.  
The day we sent you off was one of the hardest days of my life and my spell might have been a necessary gift to you so that you would fit in with your family and be safe and free in school and life in general, but it tore my heart to know that you would become a monkey and possibly never know the truth until this very day.  
You have a hard transition a head of you but at least you are safe and well. I hope you will always be happy my baby and I love you so much.  
Always with you, Amana Ranmarou. 

Shirou stared down at the page he had read and then flung off the sheets of his bed and started freaking out. 'I have boobs' was the first thought he had as he stared down at his womanly form. His hands shook as he gave them a tentative squeeze and immediately made a high-pitched eek like noise which seemed so wrong to him. He promptly fainted from a mixture of shock and exhaustion due to his recent transformation.


	2. I Feel Like a Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So imagine you're like a guy, and suddenly you're not anymore... Yeah, it's freak out time.

Shirou stared into the mirror, he actually made a very beautiful woman, or perhaps he always was underneath but the spell had made him plain for his own protection or something. 

He was still sort of the same, but at the same time totally different. His face was softer, a little more round with a smaller chin, it was sort of a heart shape. His eyes were still just as big and grey, but they were accented by long lashes that grew longer towards the edge. His nose was still a nose, he never much cared to notice those, though he could tell it was smaller and thinner. His hair was still short, but a little shinier and softer. It fell around his face as it always had, but this time it framed his jaw which set off his plump slightly pinker lips, which were a little more curved than they had been, he gave a smile and noticed that he had dimples now. He was also a full inch and a half shorter and much smaller in the shoulders than he was as a boy. His clothes hung off of him like they had never fit, lose everywhere. 

After a full minute of mentally preparing he slid out of his clothes and watched the stranger in the 360 mirror imitate his movements. Shiro had always been on the fit side, slim and not overly toned, but fit enough to show a bit of muscle. He was still slim but the bit of muscle that had once proven him to be a strong enough man was now less defined and blended into his natural softness. He was far from fat, more of a comfortable lean. His waist was smaller, dipping in under his ribs only to curve back out at his hips, which was slightly bigger than they had been. He had a sort of pear shaped figure. His boobs were something else though, they were the size of grapefruits and very soft to the touch, sporting his pink nipples, only a bit bigger than he remembered them being. 

He stood there for a good twenty minutes looking at every angle of his new body with curiosity and awe. If he were ever attracted to girls he would be having the time of his life right now. As it was he couldn't help but squeeze his beautiful breasts, juggling them in his hands and lifting them up and then dropping them to watch them bounce. It was just fun to play with them, like squishy stress balls attached to his chest. They bounced, they squished, they jiggled and other than that he had no clue what to do with them. He also took a few minutes to appreciate his shapely butt. As a boy he had a nice bum, even Yonekuni liked it, but now it was out of this world, it was firm and somehow soft at the same time, and sat on his hips like the soft crack on a peach.

The wolf jumped when a ringing noise echoed through the loft. Shirou suddenly realized was the doorbell and jumped up from the nearly empty closet floor where he had been staring at himself in the mirror and pulled on his boxers before heading to the door to answer it. On the other side stood a shocked looking man in a black suit, who Shirou knew to be the body guard for his floor of the building, and a smaller, older man with a large bag and measuring tape tossed over his shoulders like a scarf. 

"Not very shy are we?" the smaller, older man said with an amused chuckle. 

"Hmm?" Shirou responded confused, then realized that he was a half naked girl now, there was a little more shamed attached to that than there had been as a half naked man. The wolf blushed a bit and crossed his arms over his breasts to make things a little less awkward. 

"Um, who?" was all he could get out before the two made their way into the loft and started setting up what looked like a makeshift tailor shop in his living room. It started to make sense now. "Oh.. New clothes." 

The guard nodded "It was a request made by your father, the bill is already paid." was all he said before exiting the room. 

The little old tailor man gestures him over to a little stage that he had set up and started measuring. After every body measurement imaginable was taken and recorded in the mans little book he turned to Shirou and asked "What sort of clothes do you want?" 

"Umm.." Shirou mumbled as he pulled one of his old shirts on over his head, it fell about his upper thigh and he had to roll the sleeves up to keep them from flopping over his hands. "Is there anyway you can make me a pair of properly fitting school clothes, or like take my old ones in? I really need a pair to go back to school in." he said and picked up the abandoned uniform off of his shelf. 

"My dear, these are mens clothes." he said as he looked over the uniform. "Would you like me to make them suit you or fit you?" the man mumbled with a knowing glint in his eye after a long pause. When Shirou tilted his head in confusion the tailor laughed and explained. "Do you intend to go about as a man in these clothes?"

Shirou nodded "I, well I need some time to adjust before I can wear women's clothing at school, at least until the end of the year." he explained. 

The tailor sighed and then went to work, resizing a few of Shirou's old clothes as well as two pairs of school uniforms to fit his new size. Shirou helped whenever he could and made coffee and food for the tailor. The would talk as they worked and had quickly become friendly. When the job was all done the tailor left, promising to have a full wardrobe of women's clothing done and ready for him by the end of the month, but he would have a small selection to him by the end of the week. He also promised to give his makeup artist friend a call to get him over to help Shirou with his male disguise.

~~~~~~~~

By monday morning Shirou was ready for school, he had clothes that fit, a binder to hold his boobs in and lifts in his shoes to bring him back to his normal hight, the only thing he had forgotten was his glasses, they were a bit to big for his head now and slid off constantly, so for the first time in his life he wore contacts, as well as a light application of shading powder or something, he really didn't understand, just knew that the make up made his face seem more masculine when he applied it as he had been taught. He had also been taught how to put makeup on to look like a really pretty girl, but he didn't plan on using it much. 

His school records had all been changed to reflect his new independence and family name. He was ready to go to school for the first time as Shirou Ranmarou. He nervously walked through the doors of his building and onto the street and watched as others stared at him. 

'They know' he thought to himself nervously 'They know I'm not a man' he panicked and turned his head down as he walked to the train station with a slightly faster pace. As fast as he walked he still couldn't shrug off the feeling of others staring at him. It was so strange and he wished it would stop. On the train he bumped into a girl and helped her back up with an apology and a bow, to his surprise she blushed and waved it off as if it was nothing. I was so strange, normally people yelled at him when he bumped into them, usually insulted him as well. 

Things got stranger as he reached the school district. He heard people start to whisper around him and many people stole glances at him as they walked towards the school. One girl from his class built up the courage and approached him.

"Hi, my name is Yuki, are you a transfer student?" she said introducing herself like they hadn't been in the same class less than three days ago. 

Shirou froze in shock, did he really look that different? Would his friends not be able to recognize him like this? Also why was Yuki talking to him? She wasn't the most friendly girl and didn't strike him as the type to be nice to the new kid. Then he noticed the way she was looking at him, he knew that face, he had worn it himself before, right before Yonekuni had smacked him so hard he broke his glasses. She was interested in him, like romantically. That was so weird, no one had ever shown romantic interest in Shirou before, except for Oushou, but even then it was more of an over infatuated friendship. 

"Yuki?.." he said questioningly, to which the girl nodded happily. "It's me, Shiro, from class..." he trailed off as he tried to think of a good reason why he looked different. 

"Oh, yeah. Wow, you clean up well, I almost- well- I didn't recognize you there for a bit. This new style looks great on you, it's like you totally reinvented yourself." she said shocked at first before fading into a nearly dreamy tone as she looked him over. 

Just then the first bell rang and Yuki skipped off ahead of him with a wave goodbye and a promise to see him in class. Shuirou nodded and waved her off before changing his shoes and making his way to the nearest bathroom, still shocked and a little happy. He stared in the mirror for a second or two and then quickly made his way to a urinal, only to remember he couldn't use those anymore and swing back around and into a stall. He really didn't mind having to sit to pee, but as luck would have it the last asshole who used the stall had left the seat up and the wolf nearly fell into the toilet. 'Note to self, seat down' he thought to as he peed then washed and quickly exited the restroom.

He had one foot in the door to the class before he caught the dying whispers about his transformation from a group of giggling girls in the hallway behind him. For a second he was horrified, then he realized they were talking about his supposed makeover, not his actual change. It seems it had already spread across the school. "The new guy is actually Shiro Fujiwara, the dweeb transformed." he heard one guy whisper in astonishment to another. 

Shirou went to his desk and pulled out a book to read while pretending not to feel all eyes on him. 'It's just for today' he thought to himself. 'tomorrow I'll get my glasses back from the shop and no one will notice me like this ever again' he encouraged in a slightly sad tone. Was that any better than before? Going back to being invisible and walked all over and treated like crap didn't sound all that great.Then again all this attention was starting to creep him out. 

The wolf had just been able to block out everyone else and study on the book in his hand when the classroom door slid open with a vicious bang. Shirou looked up to see one peeved blond in the doorway. Yonekuni went from looking mad and energized to standing like a deer in the headlights on thirty seconds flat as Shirou's eyes met the crocs. 

"What the hell?" the blond mumbled as he walked over to Shirou, slowly gaining his anger back as he did so. "Where are your glasses? What happened to your hair?" he questioned the wolf angrily before pausing and adding with a bit of concern "Where have you been, and have you lost weight?".

"I broke them and need new ones, I had it cut and styled, it's complicated and, maybe I'm not sure." Shirou answered,in order. Having practiced for this moment all morning helped keep his nervousness from actually showing. It was strange to be able to react so calmly, he used to have a hard time keeping eye contact with Yonekuni let alone talk to him so easily especially with how the croc was acting at the moment. Maybe it was the change or maybe it was his teenage hormones balancing out but he was a lot calmer in the face of everything than he normally would be. 

The blond blinked in confusion for a moment before he sighed and sank into his own seat next to Shirou. The croc threw a few dirty looks around the classroom, and the wolf took it to be him sulking, when they were actually more like warning glares to those who seemed at all tempted by his mate. 

At that moment the teacher walked in and shortly class was under way, but first there was roll call to which everyone was surprised to see Shirou answer to his new name, even the teacher at first before reading the note attached to the list and nodding in understanding. 

~~~~~~~ 

At lunch Shirou was swarmed by his classmates asking questions as he tried to get away. He was suddenly grabbed by the arm and tugged into an empty stairwell by Yonekuni. As soon as they were out of sight from everyone else Shirou tugged his arm free, not wanting Yonekuni to touch him for fear of being found out. 

The blond glared at the wolf for a long moment before opening his mouth and demanding answers. "What the hell is going on Shiro, or should I say Shirou? I went to your place to check on you yesterday and guess what, you never lived there. The Fujiwaras don't even know your name. Now you show up at school with a new style and your soul more confident than ever, I mean that last bit's not too bad you could always have used a bit more confidence. but, just, what the hell is going on?". 

Shirou sighs. "There is a lot going on... I just... It's a lot right now I'm still getting used to it all. The only thing I can honestly tell you right now is that I've come into my parents will and have been removed from the Fujiwara family completely." he said in a low solemn voice. 

The croc let out a long breath and made to hug his mate, only to be rejected as the wolf backed away with a almost fearful look. 

"I gotta go, lunch is almost over." Shirou said and darted up the stairs away from the blond. 

Yonekuni stood there in shock, Shiro had just rejected him, Shiro, his mate, his wolf. The only man he'd ever loved. There was a panic building inside the blond, and insecurity about himself and his relationship with the wolf he fell in love with. He wondered for a moment if this was the beginning of the end, If this new Shirou knew that he was worth more than the feeble attempt at a relationship Yonekuni could provide. The croc shook the thought out of his head, convinced himself that it was just the situation that Shirou had to deal with right now that had him acting so strange and distant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that I don't know if there is any pronunciation difference between shiro and shirou... I'm going to assume yes right now. please let me know if you know otherwise.


	3. What the Fuck is Going on?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything breaks down eventually.

'Okay, you can do this Shirou' the wolf thought to himself as he braved the woman's side of his closet for the first time. The week had gone by fairly smoothly, save for the fact that his glasses were back ordered for another week and having to explain to Oushou that he no longer lived at the Fujiwara home. That had not gone as well as he had hoped, the snake had thrown a fit and demanded to know where he was living now and tried to pull the best friend card to get invited over immediately. If it weren't for Yonekuni starting a fight with the snake about something Shirou hadn't quite caught, he would probably be entertaining guests right about now in the loft. He was not ready for that, the loft was clean, but also full of proof of his recent gender swap.

The living room still had the nursing bed and supplies in it, not to mention a ton of sewing supplies and clothing designs made by Maurice, the wise old tailor who had once more taken up shop in his home while on break from his fashion segment in Milan. The bedroom attached to the walk-in closet he was currently in was strewn with his binders and various powdered makeup and brushes, not to mention all of his homework he had done while trying to put off the inevitable. 

He knew that he needed to get used to this hole girl thing even if it just meant wearing the clothes around the house, as Maurice had suggested. Especially since Shirou Ranmarou had been invited to an important madararui banquet being held at the end of the school year and was expected to show up as the woman she was born as. Her debut was only a few months away and Shirou couldn't help the acid that built up in the back of his throat at the thought of everyone finding out he was no longer the man he used to be. Some part of him knew that he just needed to accept who he was now, but most of him was terrified to the point of making himself sick. There was so much that could go wrong if people found out he was female. He knew for a fact that women were not treated as well as men were, especially within the madararui community. 

Women may be praised and treasured as rare amongst madararui, but they were also seen as breeding machines and bragging rights, or as fun sex toys to be had a few times before tossing aside, especially by types like Yonekuni. Shirou shook his head of the dark thoughts and shakily reached for a cute skirt and shirt combo hanging up at the end of the first row of clothes on the, still fairly empty, woman's portion of his closet.

He pulled on the skirt over his boxer-briefs and tugged it into place so it hung in a cute way off of his curves, billowing around his thighs in layers of translucent grey and black material. The top most layer was an opaque charcoal color that came to a point above his left thigh, it was embroidered in white with little moons and stars running down his thigh. He tugged the shirt on over his head and immediately found himself trapped and ensnared within the straps of the shirt. He had to free himself, untie all the straps and try again layer by layer before he could manage to understand what was going on. The undershirt was a black halter top with a thin strap to tie around his neck, the shirt overtop was a sheer grey off of the shoulder top which had an empire waste moon stone tie to be done up behind his back, which was a little harder than he thought it should have been. The tie brought the sheer top in at his waist to define it while allowing most of the material to fall loosely off of his shoulders and cascade down his waist. There was a good three to four inches between where the black halter top ended and the skirt began where his skin was only covered in the grey sheer material. 

He stared at himself in the mirror, it seemed so strange, and slightly alien. There he was, standing in a skirt and flowy top, yet he couldn't even deny that it seemed to fit so well on him as he was now. He, she, "I look amazing..." he mumbled to himself as he stared in the mirror again, new confidence building up inside of him. He wiggled his hips from side to side and watched the material move back and forth. 'Is this what it feels like to be a woman?' he wondered as he twirled and watched the loose material float out around him. The air on his legs felt strange but nice, the breeze on his navel felt rebellious and the bounce of his freed breasts was very welcome after an entire week of squishing them into his binder to hide them away.

He smiled and felt confidence pour out of him as he stared on in the mirror, finding that the skirt hugged his ass in such a way that it looked almost bigger. He Stood in the mirror for a few more minutes practically glowing in appreciation. He knew he wasn't exactly the prettiest girl compared to what he saw everyday in magazines and sometimes on the street, but he was damn cute and that was a great revelation. As a boy he had never considered or qualified under the phrase cute. As a boy he wasn't even attractive to most others. He started to like being a woman more and more as he stood there, as a woman he was cute, he was free from hating himself, he had a chance with the gender he had been attracted to all of his life, no more gay bashing, no more unnecessary hatred from other women. No more awkward confusion form Yonekuni...

'No more hatred from Yonekuni', he thought to himself and felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. Then the weight came crashing back down tenfold and he fell to his knees.' Yonekuni might feel differently now that I'm a woman, he loved me despite being a man, he put in all of the effort he could to let me be his only man.' Shirou began to cry and sniffle despite himself. 'As a man I was special to him. Now I'm not a man, now I'm just like any of the other girls he has had fun with, I can be easily replaced without a second thought.' He couldn't stop the train of thought as it tore into his heart and left him hiccuping and sniffling while crying in a heap on the closet floor. 'If I tell him he might hate me, I can't tell him I love him so much, my only choice is to hide it from him as long as I can.' He wiped away his tears and started to calm down while addressing himself in the mirror. 

"I just have to enjoy the time I have left with him." he said with a crack in his voice into the broken looking reflection before him. 

An hour later he was calmed down and determined to live as a man as long as he could, He went about the loft in the female clothing because it suited him and he knew it would help him to transition to be accepting of his new body. Besides, he still sort of liked being a woman. He would do anything for Yonekuni's love, which was sort of startling in a way. In this case it only meant hiding that he was female for another month and a bit, so no harm done. 

He showed off the clothes to Maurice, who loved how they fit on him and cleaned the loft as much as he could. That's how he spent his weekend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It hurt like hell, It had been a full week and a half since his transformation into a woman and he had thought the pain was over, but here he was, curled up in a corner under the staircase in pain once again. Admittedly it wasn't as bad as his transitioning pain, but it was fairly bad. He had felt sort of stiff in his abdomen all day and had assumed that it was just something akin to growing pains, like transition pains. 

The cramping pain in his lower abdomen had grown worse over the day and during lunch he had run off, as was becoming normal for him no that he had gone through his transition, and hid in the stairwell to suffer in silence. He had taken a bit of tylenol to help with the pain and it was just starting to kick in as the bell signifying the end of lunch rung. He made it up the stairs to class before the second bell rang and slumped into his seat. 

In the seat next to him Yonekuni bolted up out of his lunchtime nap and stared at Shirou in mildly hidden concern. The blond looked around the room for a bit before leaning in towards Shirou and whispering "You don't look so good, are you ok?" The wolf only nodded in response and went back to paying attention to the teacher who had just started a lesson on math. 

The entire lesson Yonekuni was looking about the room as if on the search for something and Shirou started to feel a little weaker and possibly damp downstairs. The lesson was almost over when the wolf felt like he might pass out or pee himself, and so he bolted out of the class and to the nearest bathroom. An alarmed Yonekuni excused them both and followed after, if he wasn't crazy it smelt as if Shirou was bleeding, though he wasn't sure from where. 

The wolf had just managed to stager into a stall in the boys bathroom and lock the door before Yonekuni followed in after. He had managed to seat himself on the toilet despite how shaky and weak he felt before he really started to freak out. He was bleeding, like bleeding as in blood. The blood was in is boxers and thankfully hadn't bled through to his pants, at least not that he could see. The small blots of blood in his briefs still freaked him out and he could hear more dripping out of him into the toilet as he sat, it was gushy and some came out in clumps and he was convinced he was going crazy of dying from a malfunction of his transformation. 

He was barely holding it together when he heard Yonekuni's alarmed voice through the wall of the bathroom stall calling out to know if he was ok, what had happened, but most of all demanding that he open the door. He could feel the croc's soul release with the las one, both trying to comfort him and demanding that he be listened to. That's when he lost it and broke down again. Shiro cried as he shrank into the wall of the stall, still seated on the toilet. He was weak and felt so small against it all. 

At the sound of the first sob, the crocodile began banging on the stalls door demanding that he be let in, sure that something was wrong, that someone had hurt his mate and he needed in to help his wolf. Shirou was tempted more than once to let the croc in, to tell him everything and hope for the best, even just to see him one last time before he died, which he knew was coming soon based on the amount of blood everywhere and how weak he felt. 

However, he stood strong and instead tried to find other options, he wiped away his tear and searched through his things. He took out his phone and tried to call the nurse that had treated him during his transformation, but she didn't answer. He then called the beautician who was helping him with his disguise, but got voicemail again he even tried Maurice but of corse he had gone back to Milan and wasn't answering either. Lastly he called the guard who worked in his building. 

Of all the people to answere there phones it was the guard on his break that took Shiou's call. "Miss Ranmarou?" came a somewhat cheerful voice from the usually stoic guard on what sounded like a busy street. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked while a woman sighed from somewhere near the phone and despite the guards attempts to hush it the woman's voice could clearly be heard saying "Just tell her to call another guard, you are off today. It's supposed to be our date day."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." shirou croaked trying to keep calm, and ignore the suspicious silence from Yonekuni. "I just, I don't know who else to call, no one is responding and I don't know what to do." he whispered into the phone.

"Why are you whispering? are you captive?" the guard said slipping back into his on duty persona. 

"No, It's just, I'm at school and don't want others to hear." shiro mumbled back. "I'm so sorry, I just, I don't feel well and... I'm bleeding, like a lot." he said, to tired and in pain to care about how embarrassing this was. "Like not from a wound bleeding. and I feel like I'm going to die." he added to clarify. 

There was a fumbling sound and a hushed exchange between the two on the other line before a woman's voice came through the phone. "Hey, you're going to be ok, this is normal for girls, you've just gotten your period." the voice said in a calming tone. "You just need to get your school nurse and ask for a pad or tampon, explain to her that this is your first period and she'll help you out. You are going to be fine, you'll feel pretty sick for a few days but it will go away soon. You should also talk to your doctor." she said. 

"That's what this is? Now I get why people hat it so much. It hurts so much." Shirou said and thanked the woman before hanging up. 

"Shirou please let me in." Yonekuni begged from the other side of the door with his head rested on the stall. Shiro complied, but only after tucking his legs up to his chin, heels resting on the toilet seat and pulling his shirt down to cover his genitalia. He looked so small and tired curled up on the toilet that the croc bit back a whimper as he approached. 

Yonekuni knelt before the wolf and took his hands gently. "Shirou, what happened?, what's wrong?"the croc was calm but showing much more affection and concern than he had ever shown shrio before. 

"Yonekuni, I can't, please don't... Please get the school nurse please." he mumbled to tired and shaky to push away the blonds hands. "I promise that I'll tell you soon, but I can't now. Please, please don't hate me, please get the nurse." he mumbled again. 

When the croc came back with the nurse he was promptly shut out of the washroom and only allowed to come back in when Shirou was dressed to help carry him home. He was allowed as far as the front doors before Shirou told him it was ok and that he should go back to school. When he refused and insisted on carrying the wolf up to his loft he was met with a few glares from security. However Shirou was more weak than he seemed to think he was and the croc helped him all the way into bed. 

He tucked the tired wolf into bed and left a bottle of water and some pain meds on his night stand and went into the living room to sit on the couch. He wouldn't leave until he had the truth from Shirou, no matter what it was. 

Currently he was convinced it was rape. Why else would his lover be so ashamed and be bleeding from his lower regions. It would also explain the way he had been acting recently, why he had run from the Fujiwara house to this high security loft. Why he was acting funny and dressing differently, why he feared the blonds touch and was acting so distantly. He was afraid of someone, was on the run from someone, someone who had caught up with him and raped him. Some stinking disgusting man who he was going to kill if he ever saw near his wolf again. 

Yonekuni was so convinced that Shirou was in pain and needed protecting that he didn't stop to wonder why he suddenly felt the instinctual urge to protect the six foot man that was his mate, the self started independent man who he had been proud to not have to baby. He just needed to keep the wolf from whoever it was that had done this to him, needed to keep the wolf his.


End file.
